geraldine templeton; thoughts on life

2010-08-24T18:04:00.000-07:00

1 you seem sad
2. yeah
1. you look sad
2. yeah
1. so... are you sad or what?
2. yeah, im sad

1. why

2. i dont know i just feel sad. and then i start to think about things and i get even more sad
1. what kind of things?
2. well. my heart kind of hurts and its too hot out right now, i dont sleep well anymore.

...

today i bought this beautiful peach, it smelled so perfect and i thought it would taste the same and when i bit into it, nothing, then i dropped it. and i was going to eat it even if it wasnt perfect but i guess its all the same.
...
and alot of days my job feels like im treading water in the deep end of the pool except my legs dont work.
...
and last night was electric, the streets were on fire, i felt anything was possible, like maybe i was learning how to breathe underwater but then i talk to you and remember you dont love me the way i want you to, and it makes me feel selfish.

1. oh
2. yeah
...
and some little kid peed on me so theres that.

2010-05-07T20:36:00.001-07:00

i met a Geraldine last night.

a real honest to god Geraldine last night.

i felt kinds funny about it.

thank you for calling

2009-09-16T09:12:00.000-07:00

a women named debbie, with perpetual bad hair days somewhere in Oklahoma, where it has dropped from 105 to 75 degrees, helped me.

a lady named Mercedes, who had a particular accent and would trust me with her children, helped me.

and then there was Alan, a man who to say mumbled would be generous, did not.

transfer
transfer
transfer

ive given the same damn information to at least 16 different individuals. i feel as if im in the beginning stages of a language course.
6812
94124
5253
press pound (is pound the verb that activates it all) who's the subject, me or them?
124
44236
8734 9218 7342 9187
press pound
activate all over again
verify
verify
verify

Ive lost the reason for this call in the first place. but another twenty minutes on hold with bad electronic sym-phony music will clear my head and remind me in enough time to start the numeric conversation all over again
6985
94124
8734 9218 7342 9187
ill transfer you, are three little words i hear over and over again
i envision that i started at the top. called a man in the a corner office with a stellar view of a strip mall, abandoned warehouse and parking lot filled with SUVs, mini vans and one lone chartreuse beetle that belongs to the not gay-gay guy who works in IT.
with each transfer im dropped a floor of a 3 floored skyscraper somewhere in the plain states.

By the time I get to the basement Im hanging out with a lady 6 cups of coffee deep, who hasnt seen the sun in 5 years and has a husband who smokes reds and has a little problem no one talks about when at thanksgiving dinner, drunk he unknowingly knocks over a candle and sets fire to the candied yams and plastic tablecloth.
this women, named something to the effect of doris, elaine, betty or maybe lavendra, and i have more in common then id like to admit.
we both bake when stressed, smoke too many cigarettes on the sly from our family, and have a less than fulfilled sex life.
shes the last stop on the 87 minute phone conversation that will inevitably end up on a phone bill i wont be able to pay next month.
i give her all the same information i gave the last 23 people, shell perhaps take pity on me, type in my numbers, and since i cant go any deeper into the ground without asking to be transferred to a coffin company. she'll have to help.
deferred, forbeared, royally fucked, all words that hold no actual significance but mean that at least for the next two months i can breathe, cut back the booze bill, and save a little to start making payments again.

it all ends the same way, feigned chipper attitude, plastered smile and a false sense of hope, with 4 little words, "thank you for calling."

2009-05-27T02:11:00.000-07:00

youll never love me. when i ask why

you look up and say youll never be in the sky

so inconsolable youll be when i grows a pair of wings

fly away and watch the sadness that it brings

2009-05-27T01:56:00.000-07:00

man: i love you

women: stop

m: why? i love you

w: well i dont love you.

m. dont lie, it makes me sad

w. dont be condescending, it infuriates me.

m. im telling you i love you

w. and i am saying I. DO. NOT. LOVE. YOU.

m. i dont believe you. you know we only get one love in this life. just one. and there are only so many opportunites you get to recoginize it. and once thats windows closed its closed forever. and you know what your problem is, you think youll know it when it happens. youve thought so long about it that youve mapped every tiny detail. how itll happen, what youll say, what he'll say. the entire intrigue has played in front of your eyes a million times. you know how he walks, what makes him laugh untill he snorts, if he snores, the place on his back that makes him shiver, if hes a boot or sneaker man. youve thought youre great love to death, and the sad part is that hes never been born, except in the sad dreams that keep you up at night. youre wound so tightly around this image of what you think it should be like, you cant see whats right in front of your face

m. and its sad, but i still love you

w. fuck you

2009-04-22T00:47:00.000-07:00

an old women and a young women sit on a bench

old lady: stop it will ya!

young lady: (confused) what?

old lady: just stop it ok?

young lady: im sorry i dont think i have any idea what youre -

old lady: really? you have no idea? hear lets try this on for size? STOP TRYING TO WRITE ME!!! youre never gonna know what ive been through till youve been through it, so just stop! stop trying to "tell my story" and "feel it" of whatever it is you "writers" try to do.

silence

if you can even call your self that

more silence

old lady: you may think youve been to hell but let me tell you little lady, youve never even felt the tips of flames. the horrors ive seen havent danced into your dreams at night, the air has been sucked out of my lungs the necks of everyone ive ever loved have been snapped in front of my tear stained cheeks so STOP!

they sit there, the old lady starts to cry and the young women has no idea what to do.

tea party

2009-04-09T23:10:00.000-07:00

a small table is in the center of the stage with a very expensive tea set and all the fixings for a very civilized afternoon tea party.

2 kids, Max and Marjorie, sit at the table dressed in their mothers over sized clothes.

which include but not limited to

puffy dresses

floppy hats

pumps

clip on earrings

strings of pearls

(max is wearing large yellow plastic dish washing gloves)

* a note, no matter how vicious the dialogue seems it should be delivered with the appropriate amount of decorum and politeness for well bred folks

Marjorie: Biscuit?

Max shakes his head no

marjorie: petit four?

Max shakes no again

Marjorie: You know when i invited you to tea this afternoon i thought we could have a decent conversation... you know that thing where one person asks a question and usually the other responds...no? - nothing huh? a breath, a pulse??? anything????

silence

Marjorie: oh fine

(in a nasty whisper)i dont know what i expected from someone like you

Marjorie: you know, i know what you do at night. (she looks side to side to see if anyone can hear her and in a hushed whisper) with your pee pee

pause

Marjorie: oh well! i think its disgusting. people like us do not do things like that, we go to academy, and wear ralph lauren. for god sakes you are a child model, ralph lauren child models just dont do things like that. i just--- (shes overwhelmed her self)

(regaining composure) well ive said my peace. I think its disgusting and demand you to stop.

Max starts to pull off the gloves, Marjorie Freaks out, all decorum is lost

Marjorie: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? NOOOOoooOOOOO stop stop Stop STOP STooooooooPPPPPP!!!! you touch that tea pot you buy it! i know where those hands have been and if you thinking youre spreading any of that to me and my friends (she looks around as if the room is filled with many people) well you just think again

max stops, takes his cup and saucer, drinks from it, gargles it around his mouth, tips his head back and as if he was a whale lets it spray all over marjorie, her perfect tea set and the floor.

Marjorie: You revolt me.

(as the lights go down we see marjorie pull out a bottle of lysol and spray max's cup, and the rest of the table right down to the last plastic scone)

2009-02-27T00:48:00.000-08:00

what you need

released disappointment

yet i thought

pending an oceanic churn,

ecstatic

perverse

and rhythmic questions

just drift.

raw materials

spilling

instead of melting

you who worked subtly

stumble indefinitely

without suspicions of

A dionysian future.

2009-02-27T00:45:00.000-08:00

in art

the viewers

palpable unease

is inescapably tied to narratives

asking us to play along

but behold

masked patterns

emerge

and we are reborn

partly its pleasure

and partly it violence

2009-02-24T21:56:00.000-08:00

tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick... tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick

deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

the next choice you make is yours and yours alone.
not gods or your mothers
or the man that stands on the corner of 16th stinking of pastrami, waving a sign in your face advertising humanity's collective doom while asking for a quarter and a smoke.

its you, standing in the darkness. everything else has ceased to exist.
if there were such a thing as days, you think to yourself, it would probably be a Tuesday. you can just feel it where your gut used to be.

but since all of that have disappeared, sucked into a vacuum thats still humming somewhere in space, you have nothing to rely on.

you look down to where your fingertips used to be, but now they've been replaced with tiny lights. you wiggle them and they dance, momentarily leaving streaks of light in the air. you try to write your name in the sky but realize you dont know what it is. you think really hard. something that identified you your whole life shouldnt be this hard to remember, but it is.

you give up and decide you'll rename yourself. that in death you'll finally be reborn. (and why not with a new a name) but everything your mind settles on doesnt work. nothing captures the grandness you feel. your soul is too big, your heart too full. youre brimming with ectasy and any old name wont do.

you decide it doesnt matter. that you'll answer to everything.
a call to arms
a call to love
a call to lavender.
youll rush to their side, a pillow for their desire. you'll weave honey-laddened tales for their children to sleep on and their lovers passions.

youll be everything all at once.

2009-02-20T23:51:00.000-08:00

youre dead she said, lighting a cigarette

i know he replied

what does it feel like?

the sun burst into a million pieces of glass and each one landed on my skin

the ground was left untouched by these floating murderesses.

my cells invited them in

and they silently stalked until they found the object of their desire

one by one they bit my soul of out of my body

and it disappeared forever with the sun

and the world was left in darkness

my empty body wandered the barren shell of a planet

eating nothing but the carcasses of once live fish

and walnuts that had grown salty with decay

i aint no founding father, but you can call me momma

2009-01-28T18:36:00.000-08:00

a woman sits on stage

she is wearing a wig, but not one of those white ones all the "founding fathers" wore

she can change wigs as many times as she wants, for she is every women, man and child and she can reflect this as she likes

on her table is a typewriter and a copy of the constitution

as she types she speaks what she writes

(what she is typing are all the necessary changes to the constitution to make All the people in this country actually free)

read this

2009-01-27T23:45:00.001-08:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/magazine/25desire-t.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2&hp

thought

2008-12-03T03:56:00.000-08:00

theatre is transformative

we as actors are agents of change

2008-11-25T00:53:00.001-08:00

i think

mother earth and the god people believe in

are working to kill us

humanity

our mother gives us the raw resources

our father gives us the knowledge

and we the people put the two together

in lethal ways

that not even our parent could have dreamed up

number 7

2008-11-19T21:25:00.000-08:00

a class of 14 2nd graders are led on stage by their teacher

its night time and theya re at a plantetarium

all of a suddena shooting star crosses the sky

teacher: ohhh class look a shooting star everyone make a wish

1: i wish i was rich

2: i wish i had a pony

3: i wish my mommy and daddy would get back together

4: i wish the old guy by the bus stop wouldnt make me feel sick when i wait for the bus

5: i wish i had suntan barbie

6: i wish i had a color tv in my bedroom

7: i wish i was dead

8: i wish i was prettier

9: i wihs i was skinnier

10: i wish i had a baby brother

11: i wish i had all the video gams in the world

12: i wish i could listn to peoples thoughts

13: i wish i had my own room

14: i wish i didnt have to share my room with anybody

as soon as the wishes are said (they should be said at the same time)

number 7 drops dead and is transported to another world

the devil: hello hello hello and welcome to hell

number 7: are we really in hell

devil: yes sir you are

number 7: what happened?

devil: you wished you were dead, and it was granted.

number 7: oh, did everyone else get what they wished for?

devil: no

number 7: oh

why just me?

devil: you saw the star fist, so it was yours to wish on.

number 7: where are the flames?

devil: sorry kid, not to dissapoint, thats all a myth

number 7: hmm...

devil: what?

number 7: i dont know, being dead feels funny

devil: how so

number 7: i guess it doesnt feel that much different then being alive.

devil: well yeah

2008-11-19T16:40:00.000-08:00

A man sits on the stage
The floor starts shaking
The building is falling all around him
Windows break
Paint peels from the walls
Beams from the ceiling that haven’t been seen since 1948 come crashing onto the stage.
He is calm

A lady in a fur coat runs in screaming

It takes a minute for her to realize there is a guy sitting there

Wome: why are you so calm?

No response

Woman: maybe you haven’t heard but the world is collapsing

Still nothing

At the silence she runs over to him and starts to shake him

Women: why are you so calm? Everythings ending all around you and you aren’t doing a damn thing

Man: I guess I just think its about time

Silence, the women is stunned

Man: My world has been slowly ending from the day I was born. I may have been breathing but day by day everything I worked to earn was smashed by forces beyond my control. So I guess I thought it was only a matter of time until the world I saw all around me, felt all around me really came crashing down on me.

All of a sudden his breathing becomes constricted, almost like the air is being sucked out of his lungs.

Man: I cant breathe

Simultaneously the building falls in one sudden motion and the man dies.

Everything stops, the earth doesn’t turn, the sun has stopped shining, jump ropes go limp, graffiti cans lose all their pressure mid stream, phones ring endlessly, if someone was flushing the toilet the water and shit stop mid flush half way between the bowl and the pipes

the lady in the fur coat bursts into flames and she starts screaming at the top of her lungs.

This happens just for one millisecond. And its as if the world is jump started. Everything starts right back up again, sun, earth, people, the ladys fur coat isn’t even covered with flame or rumble anymore

Everything except the man, his heart is done for.

The lady looks at him and starts to cry.

Hes smiling

2008-11-14T13:11:00.000-08:00

he found me sitting on the street.
just walked up and said hi

he found my heart that day
just laying on the sidewalk
everyone had given up on it

i had given up on it
but he picked it up
dusted it off
breathed some of his life back into it
and off we went

over the years he slowly built a glass case for it
carefully crafted its new home
and one day he put my heart inside it
he promised nothing would ever happen to it again
and we lived happily
laughing and dancing
stopping to eat fresh cherries from the trees

until the day his heart stopped beating

all that time and i never thought to build his heart a home
i was just so happy that mine had this safe place to reside
that i never thought to pick up his long discarded tools
and make a safe palce for him

and then he was gone

i didnt even realise it
but when his heart stopped
the glass shattered

my heart just fell
it surrounded itself with hundreds of shards of glass

and im beginning to think no ones strong enough
to walk through all that glass the pick it back up

i know im not

2008-11-09T20:53:00.000-08:00

a women sits in the middle of a dark stage surrounded by unlit candles

he: why arent any of your candles lit

she:a big wind came and blew them all out

he: oh

she: do you have any matches?

he: yeah why?

she: i thought maybe we could light them again

he: together

she: well you could help

...

she: only if you want to

he: can i think about it

she: sure

he sits down next to her

they wait

in darkness

she: so how long do you think youre going to need?

he: i dont know

she: ok, well will you let me know when youre ready

he: sure

they wait some more

and more

they are still waiting

2008-11-09T19:10:00.000-08:00

this is a good life

why?

i dont know.

well whats so good about it?

...

give me one reason

huh?

just one

...

you

....

...

you...

...

but im dead

so i dont count

...

yeah but youre not dead to me

so you count

2008-11-09T17:28:00.000-08:00

a women is sitting in bed

she’s alone and just woke

the beds all messed up

the newspaper is spread all over the place

bedside are various items including used tissues, a framed picture with a piece of newspaper in it(its an obit), and half a cup of coffee

look here at this one, BENION, JAMES P. (PETE), age 79, of Birmingham, passed away October 31, 2008. Funeral service will be held Monday, November 10, 2008 at 11:00 AM at Eastside Funeral Home Chapel with burial in Dynast Gardens. Rev. Roy Peterson officiating. Visitation will be Sunday from 2 - 7 PM at the funeral home. Eastside Funeral Home Directing.

A man named james but called pete by everyone who loved him. I bet he flew planes, the electric kind with a remote control. He probably taught his grand kids how to make paper airplanes, rather unsuccessfully, but with a smile on his face. Never drank coffee but smoked unfiltereds. Pete, hmm he probably liked Johnny Cash, and couldn’t figure out how to work things like cd players or blenders. Who was he married to?

(There’s a pause, she waiting for a response)

Yes exactly what I was thinking, her name was Gertrude but everyone called her sally. Sally and pete, madly in love till the day he died. They have 3 kids, none of who talk to them anymore.

(another pause)

oh yore right, if he taught their grandkids how to make paper airplanes they have a good relationship. (she laughs) DO you think she slet around on him?

(pause)

no youre right, she probably fantizied about the mailman. It was the shorts that did it for her. Oh wow that sally was a dirty bid huh. Do you think pete wore those short mailman short to please her?

(pause)

yes yes he did.

(Pause, the women starts crying, she touches the picture frame next to her bed,)

I cut yours out you know.

(Pause)

I love you.

(pause, she pulls herself together and goes on)

ok heres a new one… BETTY Lynette Ann Doyle Betty - died Thursday November 6, 2008 at home surrounded by family and friends, following a courageous battle with breast cancer. She was preceded in death by her parents Bob and Ramona Doyle. She is survived by her sons Samuel Stafford Betty and Louis Robert Betty, her granddaughter Kaylin Lynette Betty, her sister Dr. Ramona Doyle (Dr. Amy Kindrick), her brothers Robert B. Doyle (Michele) and Britt Doyle (Suzy) and beloved nieces and nephews. Visitation will be held from 2 until 3PM on Saturday November 22…

hmm she’s got a lot of names…this could take a while

(she still thinking when the lights go down)

2008-11-06T00:34:00.000-08:00

hmmmmm

wonder why?

sometimes i wonder why.

why are we all running around with our heads cut off but somehow believe that they are still attached.

its the same people who hold the ax that feed us bullshit about still having our heads. somehow they shove lies down our bloody necks and into our stomachs where we digest it and then carry on our perfectly shrink wrapped lives. taking step after step down streets paved with the same lies. mindelessly we follow all the others never stopping to question a new way

but today

today means no more

I see a place where nothing exists…

2008-10-15T23:10:00.000-07:00

Well nothing except you

and me!

and a large feather bed that engulfs us when we sleep. And all we have to do is close our eyes and its like were swimming in an ocean of feathers.

- Hold up hold up hold up. I thought you said nothing existed in this place.

Youre right, nothing did until you came along.

I think too, maybe there is a table next to our ocean bed of feathers, and on it is the smallest player piano you can imagine.

- how can there first be nothing and now suddenly theres everything

well now I feel free to invent things
And imagine things
And make things fly if I want to

Would you like to fly?

leashes, for who??

2008-10-15T11:46:00.001-07:00

dogs

some very sad cats

kinky sexual interludes

and children?

park memory number 789:
an extremely stylish couple seen walking their very beautiful, and expensive, designer dog on a leash. only a few steps behind, an equally stylish couple walking their equally beautiful, expensive, and probably designer, child on a leash.

only difference, the childs leash was poorly disguised with some sort of animal back pack. (as if the kid wouldnt know??)

what a wonderful night

2008-10-04T23:06:00.001-07:00

actually she thought this night sucks. there is no grass to play on and the snow has come too early.

snow always comes early nowadays, hello have you ever heard of global warming. i suppose you dont believe in global warming, do you?

hmm "ive never thought about it", she said out loud in a tone that made the man feel a little awkard, like perhaps she thought he was hard of hearing. "ive alwyas just waited patiently for fall and then hoped that winter would never come, do you think this global warming will make winter stop forever?"

defeated the man said "probably"

well then, i have decided. i like global warming. without winter i can sit out all year long and let the sun dry my toe nail polish. the choices for my color schemes will be endless. and i wont ever have to worry about knitting another god foresaken sweater, perhaps ill just burn them and roast a chicken for dinner over the flames.

(silence)

you can come over for dinner if you'd like, and ill paint your fingernails to match your toes

no, but thank you