1 you seem sad
2. yeah
1. you look sad
2. yeah
1. so... are you sad or what?
2. yeah, im sad
1. why
2. i dont know i just feel sad. and then i start to think about things and i get even more sad
1. what kind of things?
2. well. my heart kind of hurts and its too hot out right now, i dont sleep well anymore.
...
today i bought this beautiful peach, it smelled so perfect and i thought it would taste the same and when i bit into it, nothing, then i dropped it. and i was going to eat it even if it wasnt perfect but i guess its all the same.
...
and alot of days my job feels like im treading water in the deep end of the pool except my legs dont work.
...
and last night was electric, the streets were on fire, i felt anything was possible, like maybe i was learning how to breathe underwater but then i talk to you and remember you dont love me the way i want you to, and it makes me feel selfish.
1. oh
2. yeah
...
and some little kid peed on me so theres that.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
thank you for calling
a women named debbie, with perpetual bad hair days somewhere in Oklahoma, where it has dropped from 105 to 75 degrees, helped me.
a lady named Mercedes, who had a particular accent and would trust me with her children, helped me.
and then there was Alan, a man who to say mumbled would be generous, did not.
transfer
transfer
transfer
ive given the same damn information to at least 16 different individuals. i feel as if im in the beginning stages of a language course.
6812
94124
5253
press pound (is pound the verb that activates it all) who's the subject, me or them?
124
44236
8734 9218 7342 9187
press pound
activate all over again
verify
verify
verify
Ive lost the reason for this call in the first place. but another twenty minutes on hold with bad electronic sym-phony music will clear my head and remind me in enough time to start the numeric conversation all over again
6985
94124
8734 9218 7342 9187
ill transfer you, are three little words i hear over and over again
i envision that i started at the top. called a man in the a corner office with a stellar view of a strip mall, abandoned warehouse and parking lot filled with SUVs, mini vans and one lone chartreuse beetle that belongs to the not gay-gay guy who works in IT.
with each transfer im dropped a floor of a 3 floored skyscraper somewhere in the plain states.
By the time I get to the basement Im hanging out with a lady 6 cups of coffee deep, who hasnt seen the sun in 5 years and has a husband who smokes reds and has a little problem no one talks about when at thanksgiving dinner, drunk he unknowingly knocks over a candle and sets fire to the candied yams and plastic tablecloth.
this women, named something to the effect of doris, elaine, betty or maybe lavendra, and i have more in common then id like to admit.
we both bake when stressed, smoke too many cigarettes on the sly from our family, and have a less than fulfilled sex life.
shes the last stop on the 87 minute phone conversation that will inevitably end up on a phone bill i wont be able to pay next month.
i give her all the same information i gave the last 23 people, shell perhaps take pity on me, type in my numbers, and since i cant go any deeper into the ground without asking to be transferred to a coffin company. she'll have to help.
deferred, forbeared, royally fucked, all words that hold no actual significance but mean that at least for the next two months i can breathe, cut back the booze bill, and save a little to start making payments again.
it all ends the same way, feigned chipper attitude, plastered smile and a false sense of hope, with 4 little words, "thank you for calling."
a lady named Mercedes, who had a particular accent and would trust me with her children, helped me.
and then there was Alan, a man who to say mumbled would be generous, did not.
transfer
transfer
transfer
ive given the same damn information to at least 16 different individuals. i feel as if im in the beginning stages of a language course.
6812
94124
5253
press pound (is pound the verb that activates it all) who's the subject, me or them?
124
44236
8734 9218 7342 9187
press pound
activate all over again
verify
verify
verify
Ive lost the reason for this call in the first place. but another twenty minutes on hold with bad electronic sym-phony music will clear my head and remind me in enough time to start the numeric conversation all over again
6985
94124
8734 9218 7342 9187
ill transfer you, are three little words i hear over and over again
i envision that i started at the top. called a man in the a corner office with a stellar view of a strip mall, abandoned warehouse and parking lot filled with SUVs, mini vans and one lone chartreuse beetle that belongs to the not gay-gay guy who works in IT.
with each transfer im dropped a floor of a 3 floored skyscraper somewhere in the plain states.
By the time I get to the basement Im hanging out with a lady 6 cups of coffee deep, who hasnt seen the sun in 5 years and has a husband who smokes reds and has a little problem no one talks about when at thanksgiving dinner, drunk he unknowingly knocks over a candle and sets fire to the candied yams and plastic tablecloth.
this women, named something to the effect of doris, elaine, betty or maybe lavendra, and i have more in common then id like to admit.
we both bake when stressed, smoke too many cigarettes on the sly from our family, and have a less than fulfilled sex life.
shes the last stop on the 87 minute phone conversation that will inevitably end up on a phone bill i wont be able to pay next month.
i give her all the same information i gave the last 23 people, shell perhaps take pity on me, type in my numbers, and since i cant go any deeper into the ground without asking to be transferred to a coffin company. she'll have to help.
deferred, forbeared, royally fucked, all words that hold no actual significance but mean that at least for the next two months i can breathe, cut back the booze bill, and save a little to start making payments again.
it all ends the same way, feigned chipper attitude, plastered smile and a false sense of hope, with 4 little words, "thank you for calling."
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
man: i love you
women: stop
m: why? i love you
w: well i dont love you.
m. dont lie, it makes me sad
w. dont be condescending, it infuriates me.
m. im telling you i love you
w. and i am saying I. DO. NOT. LOVE. YOU.
m. i dont believe you. you know we only get one love in this life. just one. and there are only so many opportunites you get to recoginize it. and once thats windows closed its closed forever. and you know what your problem is, you think youll know it when it happens. youve thought so long about it that youve mapped every tiny detail. how itll happen, what youll say, what he'll say. the entire intrigue has played in front of your eyes a million times. you know how he walks, what makes him laugh untill he snorts, if he snores, the place on his back that makes him shiver, if hes a boot or sneaker man. youve thought youre great love to death, and the sad part is that hes never been born, except in the sad dreams that keep you up at night. youre wound so tightly around this image of what you think it should be like, you cant see whats right in front of your face
m. and its sad, but i still love you
w. fuck you
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
an old women and a young women sit on a bench
old lady: stop it will ya!
young lady: (confused) what?
old lady: just stop it ok?
young lady: im sorry i dont think i have any idea what youre -
old lady: really? you have no idea? hear lets try this on for size? STOP TRYING TO WRITE ME!!! youre never gonna know what ive been through till youve been through it, so just stop! stop trying to "tell my story" and "feel it" of whatever it is you "writers" try to do.
silence
if you can even call your self that
more silence
old lady: you may think youve been to hell but let me tell you little lady, youve never even felt the tips of flames. the horrors ive seen havent danced into your dreams at night, the air has been sucked out of my lungs the necks of everyone ive ever loved have been snapped in front of my tear stained cheeks so STOP!
they sit there, the old lady starts to cry and the young women has no idea what to do.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
tea party
a small table is in the center of the stage with a very expensive tea set and all the fixings for a very civilized afternoon tea party.
2 kids, Max and Marjorie, sit at the table dressed in their mothers over sized clothes.
which include but not limited to
puffy dresses
floppy hats
pumps
clip on earrings
strings of pearls
(max is wearing large yellow plastic dish washing gloves)
* a note, no matter how vicious the dialogue seems it should be delivered with the appropriate amount of decorum and politeness for well bred folks
Marjorie: Biscuit?
Max shakes his head no
marjorie: petit four?
Max shakes no again
Marjorie: You know when i invited you to tea this afternoon i thought we could have a decent conversation... you know that thing where one person asks a question and usually the other responds...no? - nothing huh? a breath, a pulse??? anything????
silence
Marjorie: oh fine
(in a nasty whisper)i dont know what i expected from someone like you
Marjorie: you know, i know what you do at night. (she looks side to side to see if anyone can hear her and in a hushed whisper) with your pee pee
pause
Marjorie: oh well! i think its disgusting. people like us do not do things like that, we go to academy, and wear ralph lauren. for god sakes you are a child model, ralph lauren child models just dont do things like that. i just--- (shes overwhelmed her self)
(regaining composure) well ive said my peace. I think its disgusting and demand you to stop.
Max starts to pull off the gloves, Marjorie Freaks out, all decorum is lost
Marjorie: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? NOOOOoooOOOOO stop stop Stop STOP STooooooooPPPPPP!!!! you touch that tea pot you buy it! i know where those hands have been and if you thinking youre spreading any of that to me and my friends (she looks around as if the room is filled with many people) well you just think again
max stops, takes his cup and saucer, drinks from it, gargles it around his mouth, tips his head back and as if he was a whale lets it spray all over marjorie, her perfect tea set and the floor.
Marjorie: You revolt me.
(as the lights go down we see marjorie pull out a bottle of lysol and spray max's cup, and the rest of the table right down to the last plastic scone)
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick... tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick
deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
the next choice you make is yours and yours alone.
not gods or your mothers
or the man that stands on the corner of 16th stinking of pastrami, waving a sign in your face advertising humanity's collective doom while asking for a quarter and a smoke.
its you, standing in the darkness. everything else has ceased to exist.
if there were such a thing as days, you think to yourself, it would probably be a Tuesday. you can just feel it where your gut used to be.
but since all of that have disappeared, sucked into a vacuum thats still humming somewhere in space, you have nothing to rely on.
you look down to where your fingertips used to be, but now they've been replaced with tiny lights. you wiggle them and they dance, momentarily leaving streaks of light in the air. you try to write your name in the sky but realize you dont know what it is. you think really hard. something that identified you your whole life shouldnt be this hard to remember, but it is.
you give up and decide you'll rename yourself. that in death you'll finally be reborn. (and why not with a new a name) but everything your mind settles on doesnt work. nothing captures the grandness you feel. your soul is too big, your heart too full. youre brimming with ectasy and any old name wont do.
you decide it doesnt matter. that you'll answer to everything.
a call to arms
a call to love
a call to lavender.
youll rush to their side, a pillow for their desire. you'll weave honey-laddened tales for their children to sleep on and their lovers passions.
youll be everything all at once.
deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
the next choice you make is yours and yours alone.
not gods or your mothers
or the man that stands on the corner of 16th stinking of pastrami, waving a sign in your face advertising humanity's collective doom while asking for a quarter and a smoke.
its you, standing in the darkness. everything else has ceased to exist.
if there were such a thing as days, you think to yourself, it would probably be a Tuesday. you can just feel it where your gut used to be.
but since all of that have disappeared, sucked into a vacuum thats still humming somewhere in space, you have nothing to rely on.
you look down to where your fingertips used to be, but now they've been replaced with tiny lights. you wiggle them and they dance, momentarily leaving streaks of light in the air. you try to write your name in the sky but realize you dont know what it is. you think really hard. something that identified you your whole life shouldnt be this hard to remember, but it is.
you give up and decide you'll rename yourself. that in death you'll finally be reborn. (and why not with a new a name) but everything your mind settles on doesnt work. nothing captures the grandness you feel. your soul is too big, your heart too full. youre brimming with ectasy and any old name wont do.
you decide it doesnt matter. that you'll answer to everything.
a call to arms
a call to love
a call to lavender.
youll rush to their side, a pillow for their desire. you'll weave honey-laddened tales for their children to sleep on and their lovers passions.
youll be everything all at once.
Friday, February 20, 2009
youre dead she said, lighting a cigarette
i know he replied
what does it feel like?
the sun burst into a million pieces of glass and each one landed on my skin
the ground was left untouched by these floating murderesses.
my cells invited them in
and they silently stalked until they found the object of their desire
one by one they bit my soul of out of my body
and it disappeared forever with the sun
and the world was left in darkness
my empty body wandered the barren shell of a planet
eating nothing but the carcasses of once live fish
and walnuts that had grown salty with decay
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
i aint no founding father, but you can call me momma
a woman sits on stage
she is wearing a wig, but not one of those white ones all the "founding fathers" wore
she can change wigs as many times as she wants, for she is every women, man and child and she can reflect this as she likes
on her table is a typewriter and a copy of the constitution
as she types she speaks what she writes
(what she is typing are all the necessary changes to the constitution to make All the people in this country actually free)
she is wearing a wig, but not one of those white ones all the "founding fathers" wore
she can change wigs as many times as she wants, for she is every women, man and child and she can reflect this as she likes
on her table is a typewriter and a copy of the constitution
as she types she speaks what she writes
(what she is typing are all the necessary changes to the constitution to make All the people in this country actually free)
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
number 7
a class of 14 2nd graders are led on stage by their teacher
its night time and theya re at a plantetarium
all of a suddena shooting star crosses the sky
teacher: ohhh class look a shooting star everyone make a wish
1: i wish i was rich
2: i wish i had a pony
3: i wish my mommy and daddy would get back together
4: i wish the old guy by the bus stop wouldnt make me feel sick when i wait for the bus
5: i wish i had suntan barbie
6: i wish i had a color tv in my bedroom
7: i wish i was dead
8: i wish i was prettier
9: i wihs i was skinnier
10: i wish i had a baby brother
11: i wish i had all the video gams in the world
12: i wish i could listn to peoples thoughts
13: i wish i had my own room
14: i wish i didnt have to share my room with anybody
as soon as the wishes are said (they should be said at the same time)
number 7 drops dead and is transported to another world
the devil: hello hello hello and welcome to hell
number 7: are we really in hell
devil: yes sir you are
number 7: what happened?
devil: you wished you were dead, and it was granted.
number 7: oh, did everyone else get what they wished for?
devil: no
number 7: oh
why just me?
devil: you saw the star fist, so it was yours to wish on.
number 7: where are the flames?
devil: sorry kid, not to dissapoint, thats all a myth
number 7: hmm...
devil: what?
number 7: i dont know, being dead feels funny
devil: how so
number 7: i guess it doesnt feel that much different then being alive.
devil: well yeah
A man sits on the stage
The floor starts shaking
The building is falling all around him
Windows break
Paint peels from the walls
Beams from the ceiling that haven’t been seen since 1948 come crashing onto the stage.
He is calm
A lady in a fur coat runs in screaming
It takes a minute for her to realize there is a guy sitting there
Wome: why are you so calm?
No response
Woman: maybe you haven’t heard but the world is collapsing
Still nothing
At the silence she runs over to him and starts to shake him
Women: why are you so calm? Everythings ending all around you and you aren’t doing a damn thing
Man: I guess I just think its about time
Silence, the women is stunned
Man: My world has been slowly ending from the day I was born. I may have been breathing but day by day everything I worked to earn was smashed by forces beyond my control. So I guess I thought it was only a matter of time until the world I saw all around me, felt all around me really came crashing down on me.
All of a sudden his breathing becomes constricted, almost like the air is being sucked out of his lungs.
Man: I cant breathe
Simultaneously the building falls in one sudden motion and the man dies.
Everything stops, the earth doesn’t turn, the sun has stopped shining, jump ropes go limp, graffiti cans lose all their pressure mid stream, phones ring endlessly, if someone was flushing the toilet the water and shit stop mid flush half way between the bowl and the pipes
the lady in the fur coat bursts into flames and she starts screaming at the top of her lungs.
This happens just for one millisecond. And its as if the world is jump started. Everything starts right back up again, sun, earth, people, the ladys fur coat isn’t even covered with flame or rumble anymore
Everything except the man, his heart is done for.
The lady looks at him and starts to cry.
Hes smiling
The floor starts shaking
The building is falling all around him
Windows break
Paint peels from the walls
Beams from the ceiling that haven’t been seen since 1948 come crashing onto the stage.
He is calm
A lady in a fur coat runs in screaming
It takes a minute for her to realize there is a guy sitting there
Wome: why are you so calm?
No response
Woman: maybe you haven’t heard but the world is collapsing
Still nothing
At the silence she runs over to him and starts to shake him
Women: why are you so calm? Everythings ending all around you and you aren’t doing a damn thing
Man: I guess I just think its about time
Silence, the women is stunned
Man: My world has been slowly ending from the day I was born. I may have been breathing but day by day everything I worked to earn was smashed by forces beyond my control. So I guess I thought it was only a matter of time until the world I saw all around me, felt all around me really came crashing down on me.
All of a sudden his breathing becomes constricted, almost like the air is being sucked out of his lungs.
Man: I cant breathe
Simultaneously the building falls in one sudden motion and the man dies.
Everything stops, the earth doesn’t turn, the sun has stopped shining, jump ropes go limp, graffiti cans lose all their pressure mid stream, phones ring endlessly, if someone was flushing the toilet the water and shit stop mid flush half way between the bowl and the pipes
the lady in the fur coat bursts into flames and she starts screaming at the top of her lungs.
This happens just for one millisecond. And its as if the world is jump started. Everything starts right back up again, sun, earth, people, the ladys fur coat isn’t even covered with flame or rumble anymore
Everything except the man, his heart is done for.
The lady looks at him and starts to cry.
Hes smiling
Friday, November 14, 2008
he found me sitting on the street.
just walked up and said hi
he found my heart that day
just laying on the sidewalk
everyone had given up on it
i had given up on it
but he picked it up
dusted it off
breathed some of his life back into it
and off we went
over the years he slowly built a glass case for it
carefully crafted its new home
and one day he put my heart inside it
he promised nothing would ever happen to it again
and we lived happily
laughing and dancing
stopping to eat fresh cherries from the trees
until the day his heart stopped beating
all that time and i never thought to build his heart a home
i was just so happy that mine had this safe place to reside
that i never thought to pick up his long discarded tools
and make a safe palce for him
and then he was gone
i didnt even realise it
but when his heart stopped
the glass shattered
my heart just fell
it surrounded itself with hundreds of shards of glass
and im beginning to think no ones strong enough
to walk through all that glass the pick it back up
i know im not
just walked up and said hi
he found my heart that day
just laying on the sidewalk
everyone had given up on it
i had given up on it
but he picked it up
dusted it off
breathed some of his life back into it
and off we went
over the years he slowly built a glass case for it
carefully crafted its new home
and one day he put my heart inside it
he promised nothing would ever happen to it again
and we lived happily
laughing and dancing
stopping to eat fresh cherries from the trees
until the day his heart stopped beating
all that time and i never thought to build his heart a home
i was just so happy that mine had this safe place to reside
that i never thought to pick up his long discarded tools
and make a safe palce for him
and then he was gone
i didnt even realise it
but when his heart stopped
the glass shattered
my heart just fell
it surrounded itself with hundreds of shards of glass
and im beginning to think no ones strong enough
to walk through all that glass the pick it back up
i know im not
Sunday, November 9, 2008
a women sits in the middle of a dark stage surrounded by unlit candles
he: why arent any of your candles lit
she:a big wind came and blew them all out
he: oh
she: do you have any matches?
he: yeah why?
she: i thought maybe we could light them again
he: together
she: well you could help
...
...
she: only if you want to
he: can i think about it
she: sure
he sits down next to her
they wait
in darkness
she: so how long do you think youre going to need?
he: i dont know
she: ok, well will you let me know when youre ready
he: sure
they wait some more
and more
and more
they are still waiting
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
