an old women and a young women sit on a bench

old lady: stop it will ya!

young lady: (confused) what?

old lady: just stop it ok?

young lady: im sorry i dont think i have any idea what youre -

old lady: really? you have no idea? hear lets try this on for size? STOP TRYING TO WRITE ME!!! youre never gonna know what ive been through till youve been through it, so just stop! stop trying to "tell my story" and "feel it" of whatever it is you "writers" try to do.

silence

if you can even call your self that

more silence

old lady: you may think youve been to hell but let me tell you little lady, youve never even felt the tips of flames. the horrors ive seen havent danced into your dreams at night, the air has been sucked out of my lungs the necks of everyone ive ever loved have been snapped in front of my tear stained cheeks so STOP!

they sit there, the old lady starts to cry and the young women has no idea what to do.

tea party

a small table is in the center of the stage with a very expensive tea set and all the fixings for a very civilized afternoon tea party.

2 kids, Max and Marjorie, sit at the table dressed in their mothers over sized clothes.

which include but not limited to

puffy dresses

floppy hats

pumps

clip on earrings

strings of pearls

(max is wearing large yellow plastic dish washing gloves)

* a note, no matter how vicious the dialogue seems it should be delivered with the appropriate amount of decorum and politeness for well bred folks 

Marjorie: Biscuit?

Max shakes his head no

marjorie: petit four?

Max shakes no again

Marjorie: You know when i invited you to tea this afternoon i thought we could have a decent conversation... you know that thing where one person asks a question and usually the other responds...no? - nothing huh? a breath, a pulse??? anything????

silence

Marjorie: oh fine

(in a nasty whisper)i dont know what i expected from someone like you

Marjorie: you know, i know what you do at night. (she looks side to side to see if anyone can hear her and in a hushed whisper) with your pee pee

pause

Marjorie: oh well! i think its disgusting. people like us do not do things like that, we go to academy, and wear ralph lauren. for god sakes you are a child model, ralph lauren child models just dont do things like that. i just--- (shes overwhelmed her self)

(regaining composure) well ive said my peace. I think its disgusting and demand you to stop.

Max starts to pull off the gloves, Marjorie Freaks out, all decorum is lost

Marjorie: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? NOOOOoooOOOOO stop stop Stop STOP STooooooooPPPPPP!!!! you touch that tea pot you buy it! i know where those hands have been and if you thinking youre spreading any of that to me and my friends (she looks around as if the room is filled with many people) well you just think again

max stops, takes his cup and saucer, drinks from it, gargles it around his mouth, tips his head back and as if he was a whale lets it spray all over marjorie, her perfect tea set and the floor.

Marjorie: You revolt me.

(as the lights go down we see marjorie pull out a bottle of lysol and spray max's cup, and the rest of the table right down to the last plastic scone)